SELFISH – to be or not to be?

(A psychological, social, moral and scientific perspectives)

By Dr Kuldip Sidhu, PhD

Part 1 of the series

“Seeking positive emotions is a metaphysical – it’s innate, the way our consciousness is built with no much free will over it” .

“Here is a scenario, that your partner/spouse confides upfront that he/she is career-focused. should you have ended because he/she will not have time for you and may leave you aside, is he/she selfish?”

This certainly reflects very unselfish act on his/her part as he/she is planning for the future and indeed it will be ‘selfish’ on your part if you would consider asking him/her to compromise that or commenting he/she is being selfish. It may be very thoughtful, considerate and commendable of him/her for telling you this and you should be delighted for him/her, be supportive and encouraging – not selfish. It may have consequence on your relationship and it may make you sad but who knows this could be your better future together he/she is contemplating towards.

The dictionary meaning of selfish as we all know, however, has a negative connotation though, that is ‘(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure i.e. ‘I joined them for selfish reason’. And the synonyms being, egocentric – egotistic, egotistical, egomaniacal, self-centred, self-regarding, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, self-serving, wrapped up in oneself, inward-looking, introverted, self-loving; inconsiderate – thoughtless, unthinking, uncaring, heedless, unmindful, regardless, insensitive, tactless, uncharitable, unkind; mean – miserly, grasping, greedy, mercenary, money-grubbing, acquisitive, opportunistic, out for what one can get. The antonyms being unselfish, selfless, ‘altruistic’, considerate, generous.

I intend linking discussions subsequently on ‘selfishness’ and ‘altruism’ together as these seem to be closely related.

Various non-religious philosophies hold a positive view of selfishness, usually on the basis that it isn’t what the common usage refers to, and that the identification of ‘promotion of the self’ with ‘egocentric’ is an unhealthy practice that actually devalues some good qualities such as productivity or the taking of personal responsibility. Inadvertently we all act in mainly self-interested way to advance in life and doing so should not be regarded as wrong, or labelled as harmful or inappropriate or selfish.

However, at the onset, being biologist (it’s relevance will come latter – when I talked about the genetics of selfishness) I must emphasise what I perceive the purpose of ‘self-interest’. For sure, it’s not merely seeking materialistic gains or satisfying one’s ego or achieving ulterior mottos of others but in essence it is an endeavour ‘to achieve inner happiness and positive thinking & relationship’. Self-interest, properly understood, is the set standard of morality and selflessness is the deepest immorality. Human society has come a long way from medieval time when it was irrationally barbarous to now more sophisticated but still complicated & twisted, consequently I feel accepting all societal norms blindly may not lead you to ‘inner happiness’ unless you desist, analyse and become ‘selfish’ to yourself.

One must reach a stage to be cognisance of the fact that in order to give more to the world they need to have more inside of them–knowledge, experience, insight, love, happiness, all these core values. “And the more you look after yourself, the more you can offer to those around you, and the larger the contribution and legacy you can leave for the world at large.” I strongly believe that all  the game changing discoveries made by the world class inventors, scientists, clinicians, craftsmen, in various fields like gravity, electricity, evolution, antibiotics, theory of relativity, the big bang theory, genetics, medicine, communication, networking, space all by them being single tracked, ‘selfishly time conscious genius’ who made everyone’s life comfortable subconsciously, altruistically and they all  could not have done it without this ‘selfish trait’!

Before I dwell on what selfishness is, I want to distinguish first between what is selfishness and what is not. This is very relevant as selfishness is a fundamental principle – for whom do you live for – yourself or for others, and what does it even mean to live for yourself? The answer to these questions can be the game changer for your life, and it can determine the kind of actions you take and the emotional reward you ultimately receive from your life. Secondly, selfishness is an ethical and moral issue. If one misidentifies what selfishness is, one can experience unearned guilt and may end up losing the chance of living a blissful and happy life.

The dictionary meaning of ‘selfishness’ as above is simply clubbing together any kind of behaviour that puts one’s own happiness before the happiness of others, creating a devastating chain of ripple effect and offering a package deal. By that I mean losing inadvertently what is “good” for the goal being pursued versus what is “good” for the individual.

The person who makes living by ‘deception, killing and stealing’ and the person who sincerely ‘works, produces and earns’ are apparently having the same moral quality, since they both do it to promote their own ends’. It’s no wonder then, that people condemn selfishness – and thus many people feel guilty for any kind of happiness or enjoyment they pursue for themselves, not for others?

The basic anomaly here lies in the understanding of what selfishness is, and inadvertently replacing “lack of value for human life” with “selfishness brings about lopsided thinking and that brings in the unwarranted guilt. One of Ayn Rand’s greatest contributions made in her book, ‘Virtue of Selfishness’ was her identification of the true meaning of “selfishness”. It redeemed morality, it created the basis on which people could be happy. It identified a concept which allows individual to experience a moral sense of life, to be the hero of their own movie and at the same time pursue their own life and happiness. It allowed individuals to stand proud beside their achievements instead of apologizing for them – it allowed everyone to have self-esteem and to regard themselves as worthy of pleasure, seeking all these ‘metaphysical positive emotions’.
‘Therefore. being selfish is both demanding, moral, innate and good for you’.

(To be continued…)

About the author

Professor Kuldip Sidhu, is the co-founder and Director of CK Cell Technologies and he has been the Chair of Stem Cell Biology and the Director, Stem Cells Lab, currently Conjoint Professor,

Faculty of Medicine, University of New South Wales, Australia. His research is focussed in developing stem cell-based human cosmeceuticals, diagnostics and therapeutics particularly for ageing, wound healing, neurodegenerative diseases and osteoarthritis.

Thus far he has produced at the international level 2 books, 21 book /review chapters, more than 200 research papers and articles and many intellectual properties/patents.  He has several accolades, the latest being ‘NRI of 2018’. His passion for science goes beyond in travelling, wine making and tennis.